Over the December holidays I managed to get away from the cold and enjoy a snow-free Christmas. I’m just glad I got my vacation in before I had to experience the humiliation of a virtual strip search via a full body scan.
Anyway, as I was flying on an American airline, I had the pleasure of flipping through a treat that Canadian airlines lack – the SkyMall catalogue.
Wow. There’s some crazy crap out there just waiting to clutter up homes. Who thinks this stuff up? And who buys it? I want to look at those peoples’ homes! And outfits! And teeth!
Here are three items from SkyMall that I thought the HomeFixated crowd would get a kick out of:
The Garden Zombie of Montclaire Moors – $89.95
Ah, yes. The prize rose bushes. The organic garden. The sculpture of an undead drone clawing its way out of the dirt. Just what every gardener and backyard warrior dreams of having. In the actual SkyMall magazine, this product is placed on a page of “typical” lawn sculptures and garden gnomes with no special fanfare or even a mention of Halloween. Its surprise appearance had me giggling away to myself like a crazy person (and a crazy person on an airplane? That doesn’t make other passengers nervous. No siree).
Electronic Feng Shui Compass – $199.99
Feng shui is the “ancient Chinese system of aesthetics believed to use the laws of both Heaven and Earth to help one improve life by receiving positive qi (life energy).” That’s right, folks: A spiritual, harmonious home is now available from SkyMall and it’s powered through a USB connection!
The CarCapsule – $269 to $419
When you watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, did you relate to the unseen character of Cameron’s dad? Is your car more precious to you than your family or your pride as a man? Complete the insanity by encasing your prized auto in a CarCapsule. This clear vinyl bubble will keep your vintage car clean, safe from the elements and will let any teen with a Carpe Diem mentality know that you’re way too crazy to screw with.
I could go on … there’s so much. Let us know of your favorite SkyMall products in the comments section!