How to Build a Ridiculously Easy Rustic Wood Coat Rack That Your Wife Will Refuse to Allow Anywhere but the Garage

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coat rackThis wood coat rack project is about a half step up on the challenge meter from screwing a hook into the wall. Think of it as my gift to all of you curled into a fetal ball, popping meds like breath mints joyfully anticipating the advent of summer vacation. All the kids will be home, whining about the heat, letting you know just how much you suck for not providing them with an Olympic sized swimming pool and generally, bored to tears before the last, dud firework fizzles to a slow and pathetic death a mere 16 inches from wherever you set it off. Occupy their time and regain their respect with a project they can take part in.

To make the coat rack shown here, you will need:

  • A length of 1 x 10 pine
  • A jig saw
  • Medium grit sandpaper
  • Green paint
  • Decorative, brass hooks in the form of agitated, leaping fish (Hence the ultimatum your wife will lay down stipulating it hang only in the garage or camp.)

    coat hook
    Adding less fishy hardware might make it more likely your spouse will allow this inside

First, cut the pine to the desired length, unless you actually want a 10′ long coat rack – totally up to the individual.

Next, free hand sketch the outline of a mountain range along what will be the top half of the coat rack. This is probably a safe task to hand over to one of the kids, and far wiser than unleashing them with the jig saw. Even if you worry over artistic ineptitude – take heart – if you can draw the letter “M”, you can draw a mountain range.

Using the jig saw, cut along the outlines of the mountain range. Hand sand the rough edges, just enough to take down the really, rough spots. Perfection isn’t the goal here and irregularities only add to the authenticity of the mountains. Paint everything green and allow it to dry.

Now for the crowning glory: screw in the hooks 2-3 inches up from the bottom edge of the coat rack. They should be placed a few inches apart to leave enough room for coats to hang. And… that’s it. You’ve managed to entertain the kids for what, an hour and a half? As your wife rolls her eyes and wanders back into the house and the kids start right back up with their bickering, you can proudly take your fabulous, new coat rack, grab a cold one and quietly slip into the garage – where you’ll both most likely be hanging for quite a while.

Note: For the less than thrilled wives who may be reading, I extend my apologies.  As a peace offering, I’ll suggest that Amazon has a huge selection of both wall mounted and standing Coat Racks that are a bit better suited for home decor.

Photo of author

About Liz

Liz is a professional, custom picture framer based in Central New York. She and her contractor husband are currently renovating their second home together. At the time of this writing, they are not on speaking terms. Her love of making stuff with wood and DIY home projects began by watching her Dad. (It was also around this time Liz's incessant use of "colorful language" took root.) She's an avid gardener, stellar cook and doesn't throw like a girl: an all-around rad chick.

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3 thoughts on “How to Build a Ridiculously Easy Rustic Wood Coat Rack That Your Wife Will Refuse to Allow Anywhere but the Garage”

    • Agreed! But it does have look hooks shaped like fish (oh the irony!), which makes it unacceptable to a fair percentage of significant others!


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